Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
When symptoms appear, are you aware of them? What are some of the signs? I sit here today knowing that when I go to a prolonged length of time, being tired and not getting a good night’s sleep, I get agitated. This agitation leads to other symptoms of my bipolar disorder, such as, zero tolerance.
I begin to have no patience of all the little things that normally have no effect on me.
If this sounds trivial, it’s not. Because when I’m not rested everything bothers me and it’s not healthy for me or anyone around me. I think that when I’m aware of the symptoms, I need to evaluate what I’m doing. Am I taking my medications at the right times every day? Again, am I getting enough sleep? For me, not enough sleep has been the cause of a lot of trouble in my recovery the last 10-12 years. It’s not the only thing but its a dominant one. It throws off my balance. I think stress has a lot to do with it too. If I’m stressed out, symptoms can appear and stress can also tire me out which can cause the circle of symptoms. It all goes hand in hand. Stress leads to being tired, being tired and not getting enough sleep, leads to symptoms. How can you avoid prolonged symptoms? I think the only way is awareness and coping skills. To be aware of yourself and know what to do when symptoms arise. Maybe therapy, speak with your doctor, support groups, or a good support system.
If you agree, let’s get a good night’s sleep, tomorrow is a new day.


Life moves fast.
Time to slow it down.
To reflect on my journey and see where I’ve been.
I’ve been to hell and back, in purgatory I had a home.
Never really free,
Never the true me.
Didn’t really think that the suffering would end.
That my soul and body would fuse back together and mend.
Over time my progress was slow but my life was changing.
Putting one step in front of the other like my life was in training.
I need to be thankful.
God has saved me.
He has provided.
I am thankful for,
My life,
My wife,
My children,
My job,
And my mental health advocacy.
My higher power has raised me from the dead.
I am thankful.

Will make your journey happen.
I try to be around and listen to positive people, but sometimes that can be difficult. In my life I try to be creative in ways to share a positive story of recovery. Positive and negative things happen every day in life. It’s how we react to them and show the world how we learned our lesson. Positivity is good for growth, but we also can grow from the negative. Every pole has a reaction, so what’s yours?

Does my mood change for a reason? Maybe it’s the season?
Is there any reason to fear? I think this happens the same time every year.
Living with bipolar disorder I and addiction, my mood changes with the season, then I know the summer is over. I need to come to terms with this fact. Even though I want to hold on to summer, seasons eventually change, like my mood.
Once I realize this, my acceptance comes quick. Acceptance is a big factor with my dual diagnosis.
If I deny the changes of the season, I deny the symptoms/changes of my mood and can become depressed, which has happened this year. I became aware of this change in my behavior and knew I needed to slow down, think, and readjust.
Because of this awareness, I had a quick turnaround. Saying this, helps me talk about my symptoms when they arise. Because when I’m acknowledging them and making the symptoms vocal, I become aware. I’ve been in recovery since 1995, I have become more aware of myself since the early years of my recovery. I believe that at any stage of recovery, being vocal is necessary and acceptance is a must.
Accept, adjust, recover.

Looking at today,
Was it good?
If not,
Was there focus?
I lose focus under distractions.
Distracting me to lose my focus.
The power of God has my focus.
Under that focus comes peace.
Peace is God.
God is peace.
Anything else is noise.
In that noise comes trouble because my purpose becomes polluted.
Peace, joy, and happiness is my purpose. Anything that takes that away is noise.
Because anything that can take away my peace, joy, and happiness without anything good coming out of it is a distraction.
It is very clear to me that God is my provider so I won’t waste away the day worrying about things that I cannot change. Because I will lose my focus, peace, joy, and happiness.


When there’s a break in time, what’s in store?

There is some kind of lesson, I’ve learned that before.
The situation will present itself, it’s behind the door.
Open the door and see the prize, it’s what you’ve been waiting for.
Put your worries aside, the lesson will be over soon.
If the lesson leaves you in the dark, the light will be at the end.
Remember to acknowledge the lesson and don’t pretend.
Because these lessons are needed and soon will end.
Be prepared for more, because that’s what our lives are about,
So be positive and let your answers remove the doubt.

What is the meaning of life?
When we’re born into this life, isn’t it from the act of love?
What separates us from this love?
A separation from God? A separation from ourselves? If we are made in his likeness, isn’t that the same thing?
I believe we are all created in God’s likeness and that we all are manifested from his love.
The reason I say this is because I was thinking about the human spirit and what drives it? Is it greed? Or materialism? If so, I believe we’re not living in that love.
If it’s acts of kindness or selflessness, then we are living in that love.
How are we to live in this way of being? Simple.
“Love each other as I have loved you”. John 15:12 NIV
My belief system is defined by Jesus Christ and his teachings. His greatest commandment was simply, love. I love the simplicity.
Why do all of us make life so complicated? Human nature, I guess.
In life, I believe we all have to be reminded to keep it simple. I know in my life with the hustle of living life on life’s terms I make this simple rule complicated. I always have to remind myself to keep it simple.

Practice simple acts of kindness.

I’m finding when I want to be creative and have no inspiration, it’s because of my ego.
A friend of mine from the past once told me what she believed ego stood for, “Edging God Out”.
When I think of that statement it really makes sense.
When you’re “Edging God Out”, you’re not attuned to the spirit. When that happens you’re only thinking of yourself. Then we build up walls around ourselves and aren’t able to release the negatives that grow inside of us.
When attuned to the spirit and not our ego, We are in harmony within ourselves. Because we are not only looking at ourselves but all of creation as one.
I believe when we are in harmony, we are all one. That’s what inspires me.
Have you ever been on a job working with others and the job goes easy?
Is it because you had differences, or was it because you were working together?
I believe the job went easy because you were working in unison.
That’s a lot like living within the spirit and not the ego.
As a creative person, when there’s no inspiration in my life, my life is not in harmony. That’s my indicator that my ego has taken over. My next step is to break down the walls, get myself balanced, and live within the spirit.
Breaking down the walls,
Letting go of the ego.
Watching as it falls,
My inspiration will show.