Thankful

Thankful- Life moves fast. Time to slow it down. To reflect on my journey and see where I’ve been. I’ve been to hell and back, in purgatory I had a home. Never really free, Never the true me. Didn’t really think that the suffering would end. That my soul and body would fuse back together and mend. Over time my …

Seasonal

Seasonal- Does my mood change for a reason? Maybe it’s the season? Is there any reason to fear? I think this happens the same time every year. Living with bipolar disorder I and addiction, my mood changes with the season, then I know the summer is over. I need to come to terms with this fact. Even though I want …

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Stigma

Stigma- Falling down, Engulfed with pain, Wash away my one last stain. Envisioning freedom, Take away the fear. The rain washes away, My dried out tears. Feeling deprived, Not like myself, Hiding myself, From the world itself. Letting stigma define, Which causes my fear, This is who I am, Year after year. Afraid of opinions, Of who I should be. …

Focus

Focus- Looking at today, Was it good? If not, Why? Was there focus? I lose focus under distractions. Distracting me to lose my focus. Why? The power of God has my focus. Under that focus comes peace. Peace is God. God is peace. Anything else is noise. In that noise comes trouble because my purpose becomes polluted. Peace, joy, and …

Love

Love- What is the meaning of life? Love. When we’re born into this life, isn’t it from the act of love? What separates us from this love? A separation from God? A separation from ourselves? If we are made in his likeness, isn’t that the same thing? I believe we are all created in God’s likeness and that we all …

EGO

EGO- I’m finding when I want to be creative and have no inspiration, it’s because of my ego. A friend of mine from the past once told me what she believed ego stood for, “Edging God Out”. When I think of that statement it really makes sense. When you’re “Edging God Out”, you’re not attuned to the spirit. When that …

Awakening

Awakening- What is an awakening? It is a breakthrough from the inside out. It is a breakthrough of walls and barriers that we create internally. What causes these walls and barriers? Fear. What causes the fear? In my case, it is acceptance. Why acceptance? Because living with my dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and addiction to alcohol/drugs there is a …

No More Crutch

No More Crutch is a book written of poetry, writings, and feelings from the early years of my recovery living with a dual diagnosis. My dual diagnosis consists of bipolar disorder and addiction to drugs/alcohol. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995 after a drug induced manic episode. I was going to an all night rave club in NYC …