Living With Fear
What do you do when you’re living with fear? It’s time to evaluate your life. What are you afraid of? I’m afraid of living life on life’s terms. That statement haunts me. I need control over my life. I know that control is an illusion but I still look for it today even after 20 years of recovery. How do you move on from control issues? Control IS an illusion. Acceptance is the start.
How do you accept to live life on life’s terms if you need to control your life? It’s hard to fathom, but if you’re in recovery, acceptance is the first step. Lets take it a step further; acceptance is the key to letting go of fear. Fear is the enemy. When I hear myself saying this, I have to let go and let God. I know I’m using a lot of 12 step sayings but they’re all true.
Letting go is the way to freeing myself from the control that I try to maintain. When I say, “try” to maintain, that’s the illusion. I need to let go of the STRUGGLE of trying to maintain that sense of control in my life, which leads to fear. Why fear? When I have to live life on life’s terms, life can feel unstable. While living with Bipolar Disorder and addiction issues I want that feeling of being stable. Which leads to trying to have that false control, it comes around full circle.
Blind faith. That’s what I need. To believe that fear is the enemy and that God is in control. That alone, is freeing. To know and believe in a power that is greater than myself has the reigns is humbling. Being someone who tries to have control, I need to be humbled. How? Simple, let go, let God.