River

I cried a river in my dreams. I awoke in a puddle of illusion. I see clearly when my mind is focussed on eternity, When I turn and get distracted, I fall deep into my dreams. The river flows from my insecurities. I drift down lackadaisically in a high when I’m focussed. The river gets rough when my focus is …

The End?

The end is the end, Of a beginning with no end. Live. Stepping into the Spirit, The fire burns, Cleanses the impurities, Sets the world ablaze. In the beginning was God, In the end there is judgment. Live, Repent, Live again in the Spirit. Free yourself of this world, Only by the Son. He has Won. Leave this world pure …

ALONE?

-ALONE?- Am I? I can hear my voice. Can you? I know that you do. Is this praying? I believe it is. I need a healthy balance. Can you show me the way? I feel peace in this moment. I feel that we are one. I am not alone in you. I feel your presence. I feel your force. I …

A Journey Through 20 Years

Today is April 5, 2015, and I am celebrating 20 years clean and sober from addiction. 20 years ago I was admitted to a psyche ward after weeks of abusing drugs and alcohol in a nightclub called “the Tunnel” in New York City. Which is a story in itself. Because of the abuse, I had a drug induced manic episode, …

Realization

Today I had a thought. I think it comes with awareness. I realized, I complain about life sometimes. I complain about my mental illness, silently. I complain about money. I complain about my job. I complain about people who complain. It’s a weakness. It can become a sickness, if you let it. But, there is a bigger picture. Have faith. …

The Question?

Looking to a time when the time will stand still. -The judgment Will it end quietly or will the silence penetrate the walls and shake furiously? -The inner walls Will the fierce light penetrate the soul and shine like gold or will the residue be like ash? -The self-reflection Or is this the judgment that was taught? -The question

Living Life On Life’s Terms

Living With Fear  What do you do when you’re living with fear? It’s time to evaluate your life. What are you afraid of? I’m afraid of living life on life’s terms. That statement haunts me. I need control over my life. I know that control is an illusion but I still look for it today even after 20 years of …

Contentment

Contentment– Life happens. My goal is to be content. In my life I strive for happiness and satisfaction. Again, life happens. Life isn’t perfect. I believe that when life gets hectic and I get discontented about things, I have to remember that God is working in my life. God doesn’t want discontentment in our lives. I believe that if we …

Thankful

Thankful- Life moves fast. Time to slow it down. To reflect on my journey and see where I’ve been. I’ve been to hell and back, in purgatory I had a home. Never really free, Never the true me. Didn’t really think that the suffering would end. That my soul and body would fuse back together and mend. Over time my …