Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
When symptoms appear, are you aware of them? What are some of the signs? I sit here today knowing that when I go to a prolonged length of time, being tired and not getting a good night’s sleep, I get agitated. This agitation leads to other symptoms of my bipolar disorder, such as, zero tolerance.
I begin to have no patience of all the little things that normally have no effect on me.
If this sounds trivial, it’s not. Because when I’m not rested everything bothers me and it’s not healthy for me or anyone around me. I think that when I’m aware of the symptoms, I need to evaluate what I’m doing. Am I taking my medications at the right times every day? Again, am I getting enough sleep? For me, not enough sleep has been the cause of a lot of trouble in my recovery the last 10-12 years. It’s not the only thing but its a dominant one. It throws off my balance. I think stress has a lot to do with it too. If I’m stressed out, symptoms can appear and stress can also tire me out which can cause the circle of symptoms. It all goes hand in hand. Stress leads to being tired, being tired and not getting enough sleep, leads to symptoms. How can you avoid prolonged symptoms? I think the only way is awareness and coping skills. To be aware of yourself and know what to do when symptoms arise. Maybe therapy, speak with your doctor, support groups, or a good support system.
If you agree, let’s get a good night’s sleep, tomorrow is a new day.

Bipolar Melody-
Scene’s flash by,
Is it life or memories?
Life seems dream like,
Dreams seem life like.
Life is confusing,
Living a bipolar life can be devastating.
Take a breath,
Collecting the thought,
Take control of the uncontrollable.
Scenes flash by,
Is it life or memories?
Living with the memories of my life.
Dreaming to make the dreams live!
Bipolar Melody-


Does my mood change for a reason? Maybe it’s the season?
Is there any reason to fear? I think this happens the same time every year.
Living with bipolar disorder I and addiction, my mood changes with the season, then I know the summer is over. I need to come to terms with this fact. Even though I want to hold on to summer, seasons eventually change, like my mood.
Once I realize this, my acceptance comes quick. Acceptance is a big factor with my dual diagnosis.
If I deny the changes of the season, I deny the symptoms/changes of my mood and can become depressed, which has happened this year. I became aware of this change in my behavior and knew I needed to slow down, think, and readjust.
Because of this awareness, I had a quick turnaround. Saying this, helps me talk about my symptoms when they arise. Because when I’m acknowledging them and making the symptoms vocal, I become aware. I’ve been in recovery since 1995, I have become more aware of myself since the early years of my recovery. I believe that at any stage of recovery, being vocal is necessary and acceptance is a must.
Accept, adjust, recover.

What is an awakening?
It is a breakthrough from the inside out. It is a breakthrough of walls and barriers that we create internally.
What causes these walls and barriers?
What causes the fear?
In my case, it is acceptance.
Why acceptance?
Because living with my dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and addiction to alcohol/drugs there is a stigma.
Is there a stigma?
I’ll have to say, in my own mind.
In my case I put the fear of the unknown in front of me which builds the walls and barriers. The reason is, I don’t want anyone to judge me, but at the same time aren’t I prejudging?
That’s where the acceptance comes in. I have had an awakening in seeing my own stigma that I have put on myself. In seeing this awakening I have broke barriers and walls that I have internally.
In this awakening I have found, Freedom.
No fear.
No judgment.
How do you get to freedom?
In my opinion, Acceptance.
I feel once you accept yourself for who you are, so will the rest of the world.

When looking for the light,
Are you in darkness?
When listening to the truth,
Do you hear?
When I’m going through adversity I’m always praying for an answer.
I believe in order to hear the truth,
We have to accept the light.
The light can come to us through an understanding of acceptance.
An acceptance that a change has to happen. I’ve found that many of us are creatures of habit, including myself. Knowing that, I believe that to get an understanding of acceptance we ultimately have to change to grow through the adversity.
Acceptance is the first step in all 12 step programs. That’s because if we can’t admit to the problem, change or recovery wouldn’t happen.
Believing that change can happen in life takes away the darkness and brings us to the light.
To hear, not listen, can bring us to the light of change.
I can tell when it’s heard, because the light is on.
When you hear is it on?

When change is needed.
When the prayers are answered.
When your own strength isn’t enough.
Rely on God.
Pray for clarity and open doors. To see where you are going. We all need clarity in our own journey.
When your vision is clear and your prayers are answered.