The Question?

Looking to a time when the time will stand still. -The judgment Will it end quietly or will the silence penetrate the walls and shake furiously? -The inner walls Will the fierce light penetrate the soul and shine like gold or will the residue be like ash? -The self-reflection Or is this the judgment that was taught? -The question

Defeated?

Defeated? What do you do when you feel defeated? I don’t mean losing a game or a bout with someone. I mean when life seems to kick you around when you’re at a low point and leaves you at the curb. This might sound abnormal, but is this feeling “normal” for someone living with a mental illness? Living with Bipolar …

Living Life On Life’s Terms

Living With Fear  What do you do when you’re living with fear? It’s time to evaluate your life. What are you afraid of? I’m afraid of living life on life’s terms. That statement haunts me. I need control over my life. I know that control is an illusion but I still look for it today even after 20 years of …

Working With a Healthy Routine

My name is Jason Insalaco. I have been living mentally well for over 13 years. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 and addictions to drugs and alcohol in 1995. From 1995-2002 was a real struggle for me to keep a job for the long-term. In those seven years I’ve had every job imaginable and have lost every one of …

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder When symptoms appear, are you aware of them? What are some of the signs? I sit here today knowing that when I go to a prolonged length of time, being tired and not getting a good night’s sleep, I get agitated. This agitation leads to other symptoms of my bipolar disorder, such as, zero tolerance. I …

Bipolar Melody

Bipolar Melody- Scene’s flash by, Is it life or memories? Life seems dream like, Dreams seem life like. Confusion? Misunderstanding? Bipolar. Life is confusing, Living a bipolar life can be devastating. Take a breath, Collecting the thought, Take control of the uncontrollable. Scenes flash by, Is it life or memories? Living with the memories of my life. Dreaming to make …

Seasonal

Seasonal- Does my mood change for a reason? Maybe it’s the season? Is there any reason to fear? I think this happens the same time every year. Living with bipolar disorder I and addiction, my mood changes with the season, then I know the summer is over. I need to come to terms with this fact. Even though I want …

Stability in Recovery

Stability in Recovery- When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 and addiction I hoped for a stable life. Hope is an expectation of fulfillment. My new life with this dual diagnosis started in April of 1995. The first seven years of this new life was like an uncontrollable tidal wave. I was up, down, and all over the …

Awakening

Awakening- What is an awakening? It is a breakthrough from the inside out. It is a breakthrough of walls and barriers that we create internally. What causes these walls and barriers? Fear. What causes the fear? In my case, it is acceptance. Why acceptance? Because living with my dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and addiction to alcohol/drugs there is a …

Truth

Truth- When looking for the light, Are you in darkness? When listening to the truth, Do you hear? When I’m going through adversity I’m always praying for an answer. I believe in order to hear the truth, We have to accept the light. The light can come to us through an understanding of acceptance. An acceptance that a change has …